Saturday, 30 July 2011
X Certificate Trailer
The French love construction work. Ownership of a trailer containing some sand and a few ubiquitous planks is almost de rigeur. This does not mean that one actually does any construction. It means that one is the type who can. Generally trailers are used to take horticultural waste to the municipal tip. Now - if there is one reason to live here it is La Déchetterie. All of us Brits will have queued for the Municipal tip in the UK. Once you park, you climb some high metal steps, dragging some massive item such a mattress. Once you have scaled the North face of Mont-bin there is last push for the summit. The edge of the metal bin is about neck height. With superhuman force you heave in the load and stumble exhausted back to your car. Here, there is a simple solution. The car park is raised and the bins are below you. Now, there is of course the possibility of all manner of vehicle careering into the bin. I guess it has happened somewhere. I'll chance it. There's always an old tractor close by to pull you out.
Going back to the genetic love of construction, a pile of stone or sand acts as a magnet. It signifies Les Travaux. It's like having a dog. With it comes all manner of guidance. "Oh yes - you ave to be certain of the foundations - zees sand will compress." Yesterday a well wisher stopped to look at the stones but decided to address the matter of window frames instead, "You will have to very careful - there is plomb in the paint." Knowing that I am English the term plomb had to be magnified in a kind of English. "Metal you know - so heavy in zee blood. You need masks to stop breathing" I agreed to stop breathing if I went too close. He seemed happy. "The man who had this house who sold it to some people before - some years ago - he rendered that wall and he just had three young men who were not builders and it was not a good job." Oh dear. "And then you have to sure of the termites and do not forget the capricorns. You must always be sure of your infestation certificate. Sometimes things just collapse." I began to feel that way myself. He is a kind guy. He has a really big trailer. He does a lot of inspecting.
Gonna fix a nice curry for tomorrow. Bet you I can't find any lime pickle or papads. Perhaps you know different? (Don't tell me how to make them! I have tried it. I think they are using them as discus in the London Olympics.)
Emma thinx: Tired of those old fantasies? Ask your lover if they'll do a swap.