Monday, 13 June 2011
The Drama Queen's Speech
OK. just between you and I - and I mean that - I was wrong. I know this is a rare situation but, yes, I was wrong. Today was the audio day. I presented myself at Rosina's office (It's a kinda pre-fab in her garden. I was to read a masterpiece for publication. I felt humbled even though I wrote it myself. For hours I toiled amongst sound deadening egg boxes. I emerged into a sea of troubled faces. Well, Rosina and her partner Bob who twiddles knobs.
"We - I don't think your voice....." He began.
"What?" I screamed - "I'm the bloody genius who wrote it!!!!"
Rosina and Bob laboured away trying to assure me that I was a genius but with the voice of a moron. Look - you just cannot accept personal and professional re-assurance from a bloke called Bob. Rosina de Montfort.......um.....well, at least it has gravitas, a sense of history and sounds as if she could cook a tagine of lamb.
So, like I said - I did the only thing a passionate romantic novelist could do. I went off on one.I took a bike from the garage and rode about 5 miles to Danebury hill fort. Here I offered my spirit to the pagan gods on the altar of my own ego. Well, until I began to feel a bit silly. These ramparts were built in olden times to protect the natives from rival tribes and invading hordes. Walk calmly and reflect and you can imagine their fear and longing for safety. I could smell the burning fat of their rush lamps, the cycle and acceptance of their life. A few years ago I wrote a poem about a hill fort and you can find it on here on: my poems page
Then I rode back. You guys are the first to know of my suffering.