Taunton Literary Festival Book Fair

I explain to Candy Bright my interest in male physiology

Recently I was reading a guru scribe. I'm beginning to feel like the old lady in the song who swallowed a guru. She swallowed the guru to catch the guru but I don't know why she swallowed the guru. Perhaps she'll write....

This particular guru was explaining to me that any writer who used the expression "It had started to rain/boil/dance etc" was unworthy of their scribe-sista badge, author-pride epaulets and keyboard panties. Such expressions are the mark of the amateur, an all together lower creature.

Oscar's work is so heavy that it takes two poets to hold a slim book

So it was that as I arrived in Taunton for the Literary Festival book fair it started to rain. I saw it start. Yes I did.  The car suddenly became a mini submarine in an episode of the Blue Planet. Oscar tried to sound like David Attenborough by explaining "Here in the deepest of deeps, biologists are starting to identify thousands of gurus no man has ever read."

Oh yes - it rained. At the hall everything was fine and welcoming.

Paul Tobin shows off his "Flash Words" collection.

Truth to tell, the rain kept the event more or less punter free. Well, they're an awkward lot anyway! Far better to stick with fellow scribblers. I bought and swapped a heap of books and met some great literoids. It is just amazing what is out there beyond my own intergalactic marketing empire. I've got books to read by Paul Tobin, Zoe Ainsworth-Grigg,Victor Godrich, Howard Lewis, Paul Mortimer and Sinéad  Gillespie. I wanted to get one from Candy Bright but I've already got them.  All you guys stand by for blogs and reviews.

Oscar did a short reading with the Juncture 25 poetry group. Last time he spoke in public was a court appearance for parking. The beaks weren't impressed by his use of yellow line breaks. He did better this time - well, no £60 fine but I'm not sure if the dog was that interested. Oh yes - there was a lovely waggy dog. Novelists archive this kind of fun for rainy days.

All human life is there. Should keep me quiet for a while.

I had a convivial time chatting to old comrades and meeting other writers. Oscar had the chance to explain his Movember hairs and demonstrate to a young punter how to locate his prostate. We got out of town before the police arrived.

Thanks for having us in Somerset guys.

Things got hairy with my CIA Engineer

While I've been writing, a gorgeous young bearded guy came to fix the burglar alarm. He's in full Movember mode including his chest(!) and doing his bit for men's health. I couldn't miss the chance to get a snap with Paul Doherty of CIA Alarms. He was a great sport and took his embarrassment as part of his professional duty.  With CIA the customer is always right.

Emma Thinx: Digital authors don't do hard sell.