Tuesday 23 October 2012

Good Evening Viewers, Here Is The Latest Past.

I'll do any background  face you want. Give me a job. Please!!!
Here is the Past. I'm sorry we cannot bring you any News because we are saving today's News for 2056. Here is some News from the 1960's, 1970's and a little trailer for some 1984 news. 

Is it just me, but can we have enquiries into everything that has ever happened that go on for ever? This means that today's News will always be about stuff that should have been on the News at the time. I know that live TV has a small delay to edit out obscenities, celebrity flatulence, nose picking and pubic scratching by dentally enhanced household name heart-throbs. It now seems that the delay is about 35 to 40 years. I know we need the truth and closure but if the current News is all about history we will never ever ever catch up. I also think there is a real danger in judging one period with the ethos of another when all the fear and need for quick decision is passed. To me it is as if we are recording the present for later viewing and spending our lives watching all the recorded stuff. Ho ho Comrades, does that mean we are not looking at our current issues? Who could possibly want that?

However, if the rest of time is going to be filled with televised enquiries about stories that half the living population don't know about because they were not born, I want to get on the bandwagon. I want to be an extra. I want to be one of the folk who sit behind the person in the pillory/spotlight. I can look concerned, cynical, bored quizzical, stupid, beautiful, sophisticated, angry or completely neutral. There are now so many televised public enquiries, parliamentary enquiries, judicial enquiries,civil enquiries, tribunals and reconciliation committees that there must be a job for me. Ideally I would like to look at the evidence again on the Anne Boleyn case. I never did like that King Henry VIII. The whole thing stinks of a frame up to me. I can dress up as a concerned Tudor citizen if that would get me the job.

What we need is good fair news at the time of events! Seemingly nothing has happened for months and months. The featured video is the scene today as politicians in white shining armour attack
unarmed BBC chief for not revealing that Jimmy Savile (exitainer- a Calinesque term for dead entertainer) was a vile selfish pervert forty years ago. Since everyone in clique elite knew at the time, I think the News is forty years late. Victims can only come out now because it is all in the News. Well, duh.... if it had all been in the News back then............

Before I move on, I do want to tell the lady sitting behind Mr Entwhistle to the right that she has kind brown eyes and that she is the face for my current novel. I bet she didn't know that was going to happen when she got up this morning. If you know her please tell her. It could change her life and release her from her role as a background person.

In my own very small way I am in the News today. The lovely American author and selfless Janna Shay has featured me in an interview. I have exposed myself. Click the link if you can bear it.

I know I'm a Romantic Novelist and this is all all socio-politico rants in your pants but sometimes you need to say wot ya fink.

Emma thinx. Live grammatically. The past is a noun not a sentence.


  1. The media, both print and television, has to present the past. There's none among them smart enough or curious enough to dig into today's news or worry about tomorrow. The secret, the think, is go back and find scandal and promote it one more time for sales and ratings. Everybody likes a good scandal. Those from the past will work until a new one comes along.

  2. Hilarious, really enjoyed your post! The scandal about an exitainer...Love that word, very clever, Emma! And yes, a 40 years old scandal - took 40 years and one dead man to bubble to the surface. Wonder what else is bubbling down there, unseen now but just wait, just wait!

    I guess that's why I love the news: to watch old stories bubble bck to life. Plus ça change, plus c'est la meme chose (damn, the machine doesn't take the circumflex accent here!)

  3. Great post. Love the term "exitainer", has a catchy sound to it.

    It was my pleasure to interview you on my blog, and I look forward to your visits in November and December. You are a very talented writer and I absolutely enjoyed interviewing you. You were a hit with my readers also.

    Thanks for sharing your very funny and entertaining post.


Thanks so much for stopping by. Always so happy to get your feedback. Emma x