Saturday, 26 January 2013

His Mistress's Voice

One of the staple foods on the radio DJ chat menu is the  "Do you remember your first record?" item. " Well, I do remember, but more importantly, I remember where I bought it. It was at the HMV shop. 

Sadly, the digital digit of fate has pointed at the HMV retail chain and they are no more. They join many other traditional shops removed to desktop trash bin icon land. The accountants push the permanently delete button and the plywood goes up at the windows ready for the fly posters, aerosolled gang tags and for some reason, huge felt tip penises. 

Last week-end I was in a branch of a national chain bookshop. From their stock and the amount of business going through their tills, my guess is that there's a van load of plywood awaiting around the corner, along with the giant penis artist. Both in France and in the UK it's a low time for the High Street.

Now here is an idea for some entrepreneur out there. How about pre-designed retail close-down plywood? Old Master landscapes or Rothko expressionisms- (they could be done live with a paint roller) could adorn the failed store-fronts. Commercial ads for insolvency specialists, ambulance chasers and pay day loan sharks could be sold by the administrators. Come on guys - this is the winner that could drag Britannia back to our rightful world place of ruling the waves. 

Anyway, all of this tosh sprung to my mind as I finished the audio recording of "Escape to Love". To all other writers thinking of reading their own material, my advice is to work out how long it will take you and multiply by 47.5. (as a minimum). If you have a family to feed, get down to Walmart and stock up with ready meals so that the poor dears can micro wave their lonely dinners senza una donna. 

There were two distinct problems. One was sibilance. Yesss Ssssir, I'm a bit heavy on the Esssses. Various filters have solved the worst of it. The second problem was the Boris Johnson factor. The male character is posh upper class. Despite all my efforts, Boris superimposed himself in my mind each time the guy spoke. I'm not sure that's what I had in mind as I wrote the story. The female is something of a London Gor blimey guv'nor girlie. No trouble there......

Thinking of HMV, I went up into the attic and dug out my family heirloom 78rpm records in order to get a photo. I wonder if my future inheritors will gather round great granny's i pod. By then, all sensual inputs will be wired straight into their brains and lovemaking will be part of their file-share menu. Marriage will be a password exchange. I'm not sure if this is the future or the present. 

On the record sleeve was an ad for Mario Lanza singing I'll walk with God. My parents loved this song and if you're too young to have heard him, here is a link to a feast.

Emma thinx: If you hanker for the past, you're in it.

Monday, 21 January 2013

Escape To Love - Cover Reveal

It's been a while since I've been here. My only excuse is that I have been writing. It started out as a novel, but in the way of the universe, gravity drew it back from that cloud of gas and cooled it into a 10,000 word story. So much editor's red ink has been spilled on this desk that the office looks like a crime scene. 

There is also a full length novel on the slipway, so I have felt free to indulge my passion for shorts in "Escape To Love". I have drawn upon my own South London life and experiences. It is a story of love, set in a landscape of urban deprivation and social disadvantage. A woman on the run from an abusive relationship with no one but her handicapped child as a companion, stumbles into a life changing moment. Decisions must be made and so often in her past she had been wrong. It is a story about trust and the blinding nature of lust and passion. 

Now, I do like a bit of Do It Yourself. I've done my own cover. Even more demanding, I'm doing my own audio book. Usually, I chicken out and get Oscar to do them. In this case the "voice" of the story is so much that of the woman, that there is no way out. Well, I could have hired an actress, but all the ones I know personally were busy either singing in "Les Miserables" or collecting awards from The Queen.

Oooh, I must tell you about my Lez Miz experience. It's a lovely lovely film. I went on Saturday and went into sob overdrive. The film is so long and emotional that I'm sure that my excess tears were diverted to my bladder. During the scenes of waifs singing in heavy wet wet tinkling splashy releasing rain near the end, believe me - I knew their pain. (Now, style purists, tell me that adjectives have no effect!) When I got home, the movie soundtrack haunted me and I dived onto You Tube. I found there a little gem which just kinda says something about genuine people and their hearts.You know, I loved the folks in this clip and if I had to have a picture of an audience, it would be them. 

My Emma Thinx today is a lift from Escape To Love. It kinda sets the tone.

Emma Thinx: Love is hands up when no one has a gun. 

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Freedom Of Choice - The Chosen Goes Clix For Nix.

I am not a tidy person. Over Christmas I reached a crisis of confusion in which whatever job I wanted to do, I could not find the kit to do it. When stuff is piled so high you can't see the hoover, you have an issue. Worst of all was my work space. It had become so cluttered that I could no longer work. I thought of writing a story about a kid who gets lost in his own front room, something like Harry Trotter And the Pig-Sty Of Doom. 

A couple of days ago I attacked at dawn. I got out the garden incinerator and had a bonfire of the insanities. First to go was the accumulated school-work of three kids. It was amazing to learn that 20 years ago they were doing stuff at school that I thought was still in the future. I was delighted to learn from a religious education test that a prophet was an old word for a sharp business man and that a disciple was a man who followed another man in the street. The pupil is at University now, but not doing theology. 

I've been smokin' with my pokin'
All of this is nothing to do with anything really. But it's that time of year when we rip it all down and let in the fresh air. I will confess to some sentimental moments as I fed the flames. After two days I unearthed the hoover and my desk. There's gonna be no stopping me now!

First up is my free days on Amazon KDP for my short story "The Chosen".(Separate link for Amazon UK)  It's a regular tale of two low level semi criminals trying to go straight in a world that's bent against them. Oscar Sparrow did the audio. My free days on "Knockout" reached about 8,000 readers. Once I have the full analysis I'll do a scribe-a-thon techno de-brief of follow up sales etc. For now, let's see if I can get some visibility for this very grungy tale of lust in the's FREE. Buddy, can you dime a spare?......

Emma Thinx: You burn souvenirs. Memories burn you.