Shove Story

It's a girl! Carla Bruni has had her baby. Que je suis contente pour eux. She is 43 and likes a drink and a smoke. Apparently her husband (President Sarko) popped out of the office to have a squint at events for half an hour. Then he had to get back to world saving duties. My ex husband was delivering a load of floor tiles up North with his lorry when I produced my last one. Well, if you've seen one you've seen 'em all and there were queues waiting in Halifax for cut price mosaic kitchen floors. We also needed the money. The word is that there will be no pictures of the baby and no publicity at all. Ah come on guys....let's have just a little glimpse. There's an election coming up and Sarko is on the floor in the polls. Surely a president and a super-model First Lady turned pop singer aren't that shy.(Check out her singing style here) I doubt a few pictures would harm the babe. I don't think the socialist candidate  Francois Hollande can come up with a baby or a pop singer wife in time. They call him Mr Normal, but he has announced  some more fashionable spectacles. Looks like it's gonna be ferocious. If I were a PR guy I'd have Carla cradling the babe and warbling a number one single lullaby whilst wrapped in the French Flag.


Trouble on the bus. Testosterone fuelled aggression flared as one lad was assailed for sitting next to a girl of another boy's dreams. I intervened and sat the female on the front seat on her own. This allowed her to turn round and argue with both of her suitors. By the time we reached college she was in tears. I advised her to chill and think nice thoughts. She ran off to inform the Authorities. I can see case conferences and procedures being invoked. I hope they leave me alone. I think I'm developing a spectrum.


Colonel Gaddafi is dead. I guess no one could mourn his passing, but the grainy mobile phone footage of a bloody corpse and accounts of his death seemed to me to lack nobility. The mobile phone shots of Saddam Hussein being hanged gave me a similar sensation. On a pragmatic basis I can see that a trial could well have held open wounds and divisions. Very probably I'm too much of a cissy to enjoy Revolution.


Emma thinx: One revolution brings you to where you started. Two revolutions bring you to your knees. Three revolutions bring you to your senses.