Showing posts with label pigeon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pigeon. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Bird Brains

Who the heck ever thought of the term "bird brain"? As a serious intellectual and major literary figure I often find myself humbled by the simple birds in my garden. I have a wonderful crow called "Hook-beak" who lives in a nearby oak tree rookery. I've been watching him for the past 5 years so I know he's at least that old. His favourite little trick to is pick up dry bread and bring it to my bird bath to soften it. 

In France I have my two lovely pigeons Colin (the escaped racing pigeon) and his wild French lover Coline. Yes - he gave up his life of international travel and his batchelor pad in Scunthorpe UK to devote himself to love in France. 

And now I have Bongo, the performing pigeon. Like many quirky old Doris types I have a bird feeder - meant for sweet little birdies. Bongo has been studying it for months. The only thing that distracts him are lady pigeons before whom he poses and warbles before attempting a poorly planned sexual assault. At last he has cracked it. I am going to model my future on this bird. Just a couple more bounces and, if I can stretch just a little further, I'm gonna suck seed. 

Oooh - this blog just gets worse and worse. OK- I know what you really wanted. Blah blah buy my books blah blah. 

Emma Thinx: Do panic! You won't fly if you can't flap.